Naturally, I frequently peruse local bookstores looking for anything that piques my interest even slightly. Sometimes, I wind up falling in love at first sight. Other times, I find myself tragically disappointed (and down nearly $20). Such is how I met Cassie Hack, who apparently just "posed" for SuicideGirls.com. (I don't think I've ever wanted a membership this much)
This morning, I stop by a bookstore and look over a few new titles, browsing by and seeing which covers catch my eye. I pick up this one strange book with a cover featuring some broad impressed with strings and sound-holes from a violin. I browse through it, and I start raising a brow at the Johnny-come-lately nonsense I'm seeing about a school of genetic experiments branding to fight against a zombie whatever the hell it is. I think about some vomitous amalgamation the Walking Dead and Jhonen Vasquez, but only the worst of each combined into a comic Mary Sue that pushes for the oddity of things like what I've heard Top Ten is about, but failing in an albeit trendy-looking way. Needless to say, I was unimpressed.
So, I look around and take note of the animator. Gerard Way.
This is the part where I rage. I believe heavily in coexistence, but having read that name and thought about all of the mindless fan-girls (and gender-confused boys) My Chemical Romance has inspired made me feel raped. Some lines should never be crossed. "Umbrella Academy" has crossed that line, so much so that it makes me froth at the fucking mouth. I don't care how petty it is, I enjoyed knowing that the books that I enjoyed had as much to do with faggoty subculture as televangelists had to do with zombies. I even giggled in Wormwood: Gentleman Corpse when Ben Templesmith spat on emos in comic book form. Maybe if this were done by one of the guys from Rites of Spring or Drive Like Jehu, I wouldn't be so bothered.
Why, God. Why? :c
I know "Umbrella Academy" isn't new, but someone needed to say it, dammit. Fuck Gerard Way, fuck My Chemical Romance, and fuck "Umbrella Academy."